The most frequently asked questions about our extremely legitimate sticker business.
And probably some things you didn't.
Honestly? Why not. They're funny, they're iconic, and nobody expects them in pastel pink. We tried making flower stickers but they lacked a certain je ne sais quoi. This has that quoi. In abundance.
Define "work". Define "appropriate". We'll wait. On a more practical note: many of our customers report using them on personal laptops, water bottles, and notebooks with zero complaints. Your mileage may vary depending on your workplace's vibe. We are not responsible for HR conversations.
Your laptop will not only survive — it will thrive. Our stickers are waterproof, UV-resistant, and made with premium vinyl that won't leave sticky residue when removed. They're rated for outdoor use, dishwasher cycles, and the judgment of strangers in coffee shops.
Yes! We're spreading the love globally. Standard shipping to most countries takes 5–10 business days. Express options available at checkout. We have successfully shipped to 34 countries and intend to reach all of them.
We admire your optimism but no. Unstuck stickers can be returned within 14 days in original condition. Stuck stickers are, philosophically and practically speaking, yours now. We believe in the permanence of commitment.
Tell them penis.world. Watch their face. Then watch them pull out their phone. Then watch them buy the 5-pack. This is a known sequence of events that we have observed many times.
For weddings, corporate events, birthday parties, or "just because" — yes! We offer custom bulk pricing for orders of 50+ stickers. Email us at hello@penis.world and we will take your request with the utmost professionalism.
Painfully real. VAT registered and everything. We have a business bank account, a logistics partner, and someone whose official job title includes the word "Quality Control." This is our life now and we are at peace with it.
EU orders: 3–5 business days. UK: 4–6 business days. Rest of world: 7–12 business days. Express options available at checkout if you need your stickers urgently, which is a sentence we are proud to have written.
That would be genuinely sad and we would fix it immediately. Email hello@penis.world with a photo and your order number and we'll send replacements, no questions asked. Well, maybe one question — what happened? We're curious.
We are real people who read real emails and respond with real words. Come say hi.